It was a slow time at work, a few years back, we were in between projects. Looking for entertainment, I decided to try and avoid touching doors for a whole day. It seemed like a good idea at the time anyway.
These things often do.
Of course this plan was not without drawbacks. Like getting anywhere. It was a long day.
The day started and moving around inside the house went well enough. I managed to get myself let out like a cat needing its morning constitutional. Only a little mewing.
A lift to work proved invaluable, although it was not easy explaining why I needed the driver to act the chauffeur at either end of the journey.
Entering the office was easy enough, I simply joined the throng and coasted through. Once inside, the open plan layout meant for an easy few hours.
The bathrooms were always going to be my bête noire that day and so it proved. Because they were situated by the on-site cafe, regulations added an extra portal. This meant three heavy self-closing doors stood between me and my required relief.
I would need to be very quick if I were to tailgate some hapless fellow in. I felt like a toilet-infiltrating Indiana Jones, without a hat. But I made it in.
In was easy. Out would be a problem. The individual who acted as my ticket in had barely a sprinkle before heading back out, neglecting the water, soap, towel combo. The fact that each door opened inwards made it triply difficult. I was trapped.
Time passed.
If any more time passed then I was running the risk of being accosted for loitering. There aren’t many ways to avoid looking odd hanging around in a toilet and rushing for the door as soon as someone comes in. Startled doesn’t even begin to describe the expression on the new arrival’s face. But hey, I was on a mission.
Of course the mission was to end in failure in much the same circumstances mid-afternoon. After ten minutes in the self-imposed amenities cell I cracked. I had to get out. Challenge over.
But lessons were learned.
Ultimately, unless you are very lucky you cannot get around having doors opened for you.
If you move with a crowd then you might not be able to choose direction but at least you will move somewhere reasonably easily. Slip through with the others.
Your family and friends will open doors for you. But out on your own though it is a little more complex. Some people might help, hold one open. Others might block or slam one in your face.
Doors might be locked. Sometimes you might be able to get a key. Sometimes you might have to kick it down.
But fundamentally, if you want to get to the other side, you’re best off doing it yourself.
